The Introvert and God’s “loving others”

If God’s commandment is to love others as yourself, how is this done by an introvert?

If God made us to be unique, so He created me (or you) as an introvert, how can we show His love?

This is a question I’ve given much thought and pause.

If you’ve read my previous introvert blogs over the past few weeks, you see that introverts like to be behind the scenes, in a group setting (aka not the life of the party). Or most likely holed up at home, enjoying every drop of solitude, in peace.

So my question is, how does an introvert love others when we are at home, all quiet? It’s not like we’re in a setting with people all over the place!

From what I can tell about myself, when I do interact with people, I listen, which is a form of love (although my brain doesn’t retain what it used to.)

I also pray when asked, or when I see someone is in trouble (sometimes they don’t realize it.)

Or if a person needs encouragement or cheer, I send a scripture, Godly meme, card, or gift.

Sometimes people need a different perspective since each of us can be bogged down in the muddle of our trials/emotions, and I can provide that.

I hear about a ministry at church and pull out my checkbook.

I have a huge soft spot for animals and will spend time creating mud holes for the bunnies and birds to cool off in the 114 degree heat. Or spend time holding and feeding orphan doves with my husband. Or get a jar from the kitchen to capture an insect and release them outdoors, versus squashing them. Or calling the firemen to get a snake off our property versus using a BB gun. But God’s commandment is to love others so is loving animals part of this??


I struggle with this topic though, because I’m not one to offer a phone call (talking on the phone is like pulling teeth for me and is common for introverts). I’m not one to drive over to your house with flowers the moment you have a problem (I can’t take the interaction of people on the road anymore.) I’m not one to create a party for you or even want to go to a party as a participant. I’m not one to wave my hand wildly when there’s a church group being formed that needs volunteers.

I guess I feel like an introvert might not be as useful as an extrovert in the front lines of loving others (there, I said my fear), and want to hear what you think.

Thank you in advance and God bless us all. ❤️

I stand with Israel 🇮🇱

19 thoughts on “The Introvert and God’s “loving others””

  1. Hello my friend! I love the phrase “when we work, we work; but when we pray, God works”. I believe the prayers of the introverts power the effectiveness of the extroverts. You and I praying for our pastors, praying for the ministry leaders, praying for the people on the front lines is more than half the equation.
    And, Gods love is deep and wide… introverts are amazing at 1 on 1 conversations. You and I are able to go deep with people, but just a few. Extroverts excel with the wide audience. But they can’t possibly go deep with everyone, so they need introverts to do what they do best.
    Anyway, that’s what I’ve come up with over the years of asking God the same questions you have posed. It feels like extroverts are more useful for the kingdom because they are easier to notice- especially for the introverts admiring their ease with what is so difficult for us. But God uses us all and gifts us each with intention. Introverts have the relational gifts. It is often we who pray for our loved ones who are unsaved, invite them to church, maybe put them in the presence of the extroverts, and then we have the deep discussions, we disciple individuals and keep praying for them – we’re in it for the long haul because that’s how we’re wired. At the end of the day, an extroverts may have more conversions because of their ministry, but so many will have been made possible by introverts and God sees everyone’s effort the same. In fact, the Bible says God honors what is done for Him in secret… I think He will have an extra blessing for introverts because the extroverts get more earthly recognition. (But that’s just a suspicion 😀)
    Sorry this was long- I just wanted to encourage you that your introversion is important for the kingdom of God!

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    2. Wow Michelle, your thoughts are so well formulated. It is evident you spent deep thought pondering this subject, like you said. I appreciate your wisdom and encouragement. So many good points. Thank you! ❤️

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  2. The more a person’s mouth is closed, the more focused they can be on what another person is saying. An extrovert is more apt to be thinking of what they plan to talk about next, and may not give their full attention to what others are contributing to the conversation. If you love others, you have a keen interest in learning all about them. Kudos to your kindness to animals-God’s precious creatures. And, I agree, don’t call me-text me!!! Great post, Marla! For someone who shies away from conversations, you’re sure good about getting one going! 🙂

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    2. Thank you Nancy. Regarding listening and keen interest, do you ever hear “You ask too many questions” or they think you’re prying but you are genuinely interested in what makes that person tick. If so, how do you handle?

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      1. When I’m talking with someone who says they have health or other issues, I don’t ask the particulars. I’ll express regrets and try to be supportive in some way. I guess we should be like actors and know our audience. 😁

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  3. Speaking as an extrovert, I would say what you are doing is what you have been called to do. Pray, send a card, even just a friendly smile on the street to someone you might not normally do that to is all forms of loving others.

    We have all been given gifts to use for God’s kingdom, and I think you are doing great. Maybe there is a ministry at church you would like to help with. What can you do behind the scenes before or after that won’t put you in contact with a lot of people?

    And if you want to help more but not be seen, communicate that by email to the main extrovert. Don’t worry, they will take the spotlight completely off you so they get more, LOL

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  4. Haha. Your last statement is hilarious! I appreciate your thoughts as an extrovert Tracie. And your support and encouragement.

    It’s funny bc each time I write my blog, I intend to be lighthearted and humorous but then my introversion pushes out the serious deep thoughts. Wonder how I can stifle that side 🤔 and get a funny blog out?! 😄

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  5. I think introverts provide so much to Gods ministry! Like you said, we are listeners, we are people who know peace and silence with God and we can share how that peace and silence is vital to our growth. We also understand those who silently have battles and relate to other introverts and their journey too!

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  6. Quiet love is still powerful. Listening, praying, encouraging, giving, these are all acts of deep love.

    God uses introverts in gentle, faithful ways that often reach hearts others can’t.

    Be Blessed and Be a Blessing…

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  7. I so agree that we as introverts don’t do well with a large number of people but we can be good one on one and God made us and I think He does have varying tasks and purposes for different individuals that caters wonderfully to how we are made. I think the important thing to remember is to be aware of those in need around us and especially those times when we feel the spirit nudge us to send a text or say a prayer.

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