My Life – Being Seen, Known & Loved

Today is a “come lay on my couch” therapy session, blog.

If you’ve been reading my blog series, you know that I’m an introvert and I’m also an HSP, highly sensitive person. It helps to define this, since God created me but I don’t always understand myself. Do you relate? Do you understand yourself completely, or are you in the wonderful “discovery” phase? 🤔


Here’s my latest example of discovering and identifying:

I asked my husband, Dave, if we could find a Bible word search publication, that I’ve been seeking. He was accommodating and we looked in the Wal-Mart book aisles.

We didn’t find it but I picked up a book “Melania”, and started leafing through the pictures. I showed my husband a couple of pictures but then he, without saying anything, walked away.

My reaction…I got mad (aka “hurt”.)

He immediately picked up on my emotion, even though the invisible darts, weren’t transparent to the other Walmart customers. 😃

After walking silently through the store to the vegetable aisle, where good things happen 😆, he apologized. I accepted and asked if he knew what he was apologizing for. He said “not really”, with the dazed face, that is relatable if you are in ANY relationship.

I then was able to identify why his reaction to not wanting to continue looking at Melania pictures, would upset me so. Ever since I’ve been learning more about my introvertism and being an HSP, it’s been helping in our marriage.


Here’s my analysis:

First off, Dave’s not an HSP and we laugh about how he’s an HIP, which is our acronym for “highly insensitive person” (although someone that’s totally insensitive, couldn’t pick up on another’s emotions 🥰).

Dave’s HIP reaction – “I looked at some pictures but have no interest in Melania’s life and am doing good because I tried to find my wife the Bible word search book. It’s time to find me some rutabaga and tomatoes.”

My HSP reaction- “Walking away is such a rude reaction to someone you love. If roles were reversed, I’d look with you at Melania, even though I might not give 2 hoots about her.”



Now going deeper (because that’s what introverts do), here’s what really happened…

Dave felt good that he “helped me try to find a book” but he didn’t count on spending more time in the book aisle.

I was happy that he was helping find the word search book. So happy, that I wanted to see more books. Being an introvert, books are my favorite passion. 😍

But his walking away, hit a core, deep-seated trigger.

To me, it meant “You are not seen, you don’t matter, I don’t need to get to know you further and see what interests you, you’re invisible, you don’t count, you are not worthy of being explored, you are not valued.” A strong reaction!

I grew up having these messages played into my head because I was a little curly-headed baby doll without a voice, without being allowed to have my personality cultivated and developed.

All I heard as a child was “Oh isn’t she cute. She’s so quiet. What a well-behaved child. She’s so shy. Is she a wallflower? She follows all the rules.” It stunk. What would have been better was to have people ask questions, give me the time to figure out my answers and just listen, without judgment. Especially in my formative years.

I now comprehend that when I was little, people did not have the knowledge or understanding of different temperaments. Introvert vs extrovert. Being an introvert, we’re normally quiet and like to watch and listen to others. Because of this, it is misconstrued that we have no opinions/thoughts of our own. And if anyone does take the time to ask “what do you think?”, they can get gray hairs waiting for our answer because introverts deeply process all of our thoughts. Just look at how I am analyzing this Walmart interaction with my husband! 😂

Also, an HSP has a heightened sense of awareness so we’re monitoring and replaying the words, actions and reactions of ourselves and others, constantly. Try doing this since you’ve been a baby. I’m sure that some of you relate. It’s tiring! That’s one reason we need to replenish by being alone.


Now returning to today, this moment:

It may take a lifetime to figure yourself out but keep trying! It’s healthy and it’s fun.

Spiritually, it connects missing pieces to accepting God’s unconditional love, feeling closer to Him. HE is always there, waiting patiently, constantly available, happy to help if you ask, infinite love. His grace and mercy are yours. He sent Jesus for us.

It’s putting together a puzzle, your unique puzzle…Who you are, who God made you to be, how you can learn to take care of yourself and not rely on others, how to forgive, how much God loves you.

Psalm 139:13-14
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

God doesn’t make junk. 🥰