I texted a friend recently:
Me…Do you ever feel numb where you walk around not knowing which end is up? Like you try to focus on something but your brain can’t take another second of things not working. And you just walk around in the daze?
Her…All the time.
Me…On the negative side, it’s probably not good for us. On the positive side, it feels good in a way to be in a little cocoon where the bottom line is, does any of this craziness even matter?
Me…The numbness serves as a shelter. Agreed?
Me…It might be that I’m feeling an utter lack of control.
Me…And in that case, Jesus is all that matters and the rest is bull.
Her…It’s all BS! But what happens in the world still hurts even when I’m numb.
Me…I get that. Here, let’s take a picture of something we can still control.
(See picture of toilet above)
Me…The toilet is clean now. Bottom is stained so that doesn’t count.
Me…And the sink is clean
Me…That’s all I got. Rest of life is out of my control.
Her…I got nothing.
Me…Wow, that bad? Not even a clean toilet? Oh wait, you live with 2 guys. Of course you don’t have a clean toilet. Haha
My most recent lesson…
We are in chaos on earth and I’ve gotten to the point where I realize that I’m not in control of my life. And that is a perfect place to be. What I think is best for me, may not be what God wants. When my prayer is “I would really like for blah blah blah to happen, but if it doesn’t, I trust that you know more, and love me and I am accepting Your will”, then I truly relax.
Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV
8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
Our loss of control, if given to Jesus, means the ultimate deep fulfilling relationship of complete trust in the one who loves us unconditionally. Amen.
Have a good week folks!